


How Strange, Innocence

by WriterAnonymous



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Savior Derek, Suicidal Thoughts, Tragic Romance, Vulnerable Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7665574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterAnonymous/pseuds/WriterAnonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles doesn't want to live. Derek doesn't want him to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only Human

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really wanted to get this idea out of my head. Just a very short little ficlet that centres around Stiles and depression. Will only be two short chapters but I hope you all will read, review and enjoy never the less.  
> Companion song and inspiration for the title and the fic itself is Explosions in the Sky-Your Hand in Mine

*** 

  * "So Stiles, great kid, zero ability to focus. Super smart, never takes advantage of his talents."  
  * "I'm fine. Yea aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen."   
  * "I'm not a hero, dad."  
  * "You think Stiles, skinny, defenceless Stiles is the Nogitsune? Why not take someone bigger, stronger?"  
  * "Just kill me, I don't care anymore!" 
  * Well I can't do what you can, Scott! I know you wouldn’t have done it. Yea, because you're Scott McCall, you're the true Alpha! Guess what all of us can't be true Alphas! Some of us have to make mistakes, some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes, some of us are human!"  
  * "I thought how the hell am I supposed to raise this stupid kid on my own. This hyperactive little bastard who keeps ruining my life. You killed your mother and now you're killing me."  
  * " What if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then it's just hell later on?"  



 *** 

 

 

 

 

Stiles Stilinksi stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, head bowed and shoulders hunched against the onslaught of rain crashing down in freezing cold sheets. The moon above shone down on his bent figure, illuminating his pale neck and causing his drenched, dark hair to shine brilliantly. 

_What_ _is the point anymore_ _?_ He thought dully, glaring ahead through the downpour at the empty street before him. In sleep, nightmares haunted him. In consciousness, fear damn near crippled him. There was no peace. He felt like he was losing his mind. In the night sky a bolt of lightning cracked loudly, striking somewhere in the distance, muffling the sound of the rain briefly.  Shock reverberated through his entire being upon the realisation that for a startling moment he'd wished that lightning bolt had hit him.  

Stiles had thought about his death plenty before but never like that. He'd always pictured it'd be a horrific accident involving kanima or a blood thirsty pack of alphas. No Stiles had never considered death by his own hand. Suicide. Now he pictured it. To finally rest. To finally find peace. No more supernatural. No more terror.  

_Bliss._  

The Beacon Hill bridge was coming into sight now. Stiles could just barely see it through the storm but it was there. Fleetingly he remembered how he and Scott used to cross this bridge together when they were kids. Daring each other to jump off and then using their freshly bought ice cream cones as reasonable excuses not to take the dare. Stiles smiled sadly at the memory wiping rain from his eyes. What he wouldn't give to go back to those days. 

*** 

Rain pounded in strengthening intervals on the roof of his camaro and lightning flashed threateningly above and still Derek continued his rounds of Beacon Hill as was his usual. He couldn’t sleep unless he knew all appeared right in the town. He'd tried to skip his midnight rounds once and all that had caused him was a restless sleep and a headache. 

A figure on the bridge ahead made Derek ease off the gas to slow down to a crawl. His heart began to thunder in his chest. Some crazy idiot was standing on the railings of the bridge, hands spread out on either side of them while the teetered precariously on the edge of life and death. Coming to a complete stop on the bridge Derek shoved the drivers door open roughly, quickly disentangling himself from his seat belt and around the car at an unearthly speed. The rain did nothing to slow him down and in a matter of seconds he was standing behind the figure, The man he could tell now. Not just any man though. Derek would recognise that red hoodie anywhere. Even soaked through with rain the way it was it was unmistakable who was shivering and shaking on that railing one gust of wind away from towering into the deep, dark waters below. 

"Stiles?" He whispered so quietly that he wasn't surprised the boy didn’t turn around. What was he doing out here. In this? Crazy. Scott would kill him if he let anything happen to the boy. Making a split second decision Derek sloshed through the puddle and the downpour that separated he and Stiles and grabbed the other man around the waist, pulling him from his death and back against his chest. The slightly smaller man struggled in Derek's arms madly until Derek turned him in his arms so that he could stare down at the younger man's face. Stiles face was red from the harsh wind and the bitter cold of the rain, his hair flattened to his scalp and sopping wet. He saw Derek and his struggling efforts doubled. 

"Let me go!" He cried beating at Derek's chest fiercely. 

"I won't. Not until you tell me what you were planning to do up there." The werewolf shouted back over the rain. 

"Let me go, Let me go!" Stiles yelled his voice cracking and his fists slowing their frantic assault of Derek's chest. Tightening his arms around the boy Derek held on until the blows stopped coming and were instead replaced by tears. He placed his hand on the back of Stiles head, pulling it down to rest on his shoulder as his body was racked by sobs. Derek was no good at comforting others. He'd be the first to admit it but seeing Stiles this way... knowing what he might have accomplished had Derek not showed up when he did  this night. Derek's own body started to experience shakes of its own as relief hit him in waves. Stiles breath puffed warmly against his neck and the sound of his heartbeat slowing back to normal helped Derek's own heartbeat regulate. Stiles was alive. He was going to be okay. Now Derek just had to discover what was going on in that head of his. 

 

 

 

 


	2. Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final piece to this very short story. Hope you enjoy.  
> Companion music is Union by Deptford Goth  
> Please review if you have a moment.

 

Finally able to breathe again Stiles shoved away from Derek's chest feeling pitiful and embarrassed. Why had he broken down like that? In front of Derek Hale no less.  

"Stiles." Derek said reaching a hand out to him like he was a wounded animal. Anger flared in Stiles chest. 

" Don't do that, Derek. Don't treat me like I'm some victim" 

The other man blinked and just like that the pity that had been etched into his features was gone. 

"You don't want to be treated like a victim, Stiles? Maybe you should stop acting like one then. What were you doing up there? " 

The younger man's hands clenched into fists where they hung at his sides.  

"You don't get it do you? Why would you. You're one of them. Well guess what? I'm not! I'm only human!" Lightning flashed above and thunder ripped its ugly head loudly as if to emphasise his point. 

Derek stared at the boy in disbelief. Is that what this was all about? Anger was boiling in the pit of his stomach trying to make an appearance but Derek kept it in check. 

"You're here trying to hurl yourself off a bridge because you're human? Are you even listening to yourself?" The werewolf could smell Stiles distress. It overpowered the scent of the rain, it overpowered the scent of everything and it made Derek's stomach toss uncomfortably.  

"Listen Stiles--" 

"No! I'm done listening. You think I'm ridiculous right now because I can't stand to be alive another minute? You have no idea what it feels like to be human. To be terrified every night. To not want to ever leave your bed each day because it creates a false sense of security  until you realise what makes you think you're safe there.  I worry about Scott! I'm worried about my dad! I'm worried ninety-eight percent of the time and the other two percent I'm scared out of my mind. I"m vulnerable Derek. No wolfy effects to protect myself." Stiles inhaled a shaky breath. Something alarming and alien was awakening in his chest. Emotion. It was turning his stomach, twisting his insides, unfamiliar in its rapid growth. A heat was blazing in him, threatening to spill over, fighting to rise to the surface. Stiles heart began to pick up speed and he could feel his intake of breath becoming more intense. Suddenly, there it was, his heart began to race, pumping furiously and the teen raised a hand to his chest in panic. He couldn't breathe. His legs gave out from underneath him and his knees came crashing down painfully colliding with the pavement. 

"Stiles!" Derek exclaimed rushing to Stiles side and dropping down into a puddle to meet the boy at eye-level. He could hear the other man's heartbeat slamming furiously in his chest. He was having a panic attack. 

"Stiles, look at me" Derek said grasping the teens chin and meeting his eyes. "Take a deep breath. You need to calm down." 

"I'm...trying" Stiles gasped locking eyes with his companion and attempting to stop hyperventilating. 

Stiles eyes were wide  and bright in the moonlight. Derek took this moment to notice that the boys eyes were not the simple brown he'd originally thought. They shone a radiant amber. A burnished gold colour. Those bronze flecked irises were lined with thick, dark lashes. Derek felt himself being drawn into them. Gazing deeply into them he felt strangely enchanted. Distantly his mind registered that Stiles heartbeat was returning to normal. A raindrop trickled down the side of Stiles face. Past those enchanting eyes it danced a pattern down his nose, Derek watched, riveted as it clung to the tip before dropping to land on perfectly shaped pink lips. They parted temptingly on another deep breath and the spell was broken. Derek's eyes snapped back up to meet Stiles and was surprised to find the other man's gaze elsewhere.  

Derek was staring at him...strangely. Concentrating on the way Derek was concentrating on him was helping ease the pain in his chest. He must be seeing things. It was as though Derek was seeing him for the first time. His blue eyes were staring intensely into his own, flitting back and forth from one side of his face to the other. Stiles would have thought the intense inspection of his face would have made him feel uncomfortable but it did just the opposite. He felt... alive. No one had ever looked at him this way before. He found himself raising his chin higher and straightening his back. Did Derek like what he was looking at? Why did Stiles care? Was this really happening? 

Derek's eyes dropped lower and Stiles breath left him on a surprised gasp. Reality sunk in. This was real life. This _was_ really happening. Derek Hale had caught him attempting to end his own life, proceeded to stop him, allowed Stiles to dramatically break down in front of him and now, here in this storm was staring at him as if he was going to...kiss him? 

Stiles own eyes dropped to Derek's lips curiously. What would it feel like...would it be like kissing a girl? Fuck Stiles body was on fire. He was tingling with suspense. How had his night went from one extreme to the other? Lifting his eyes he found Derek staring into his again. That look of fascination still there.  

"Do it." Stiles whispered knowing that Derek would hear him. 

The air was cackling with a different type of electricity. One not created by the storm ahead. Derek had heard Stiles loud and clear.  The two of them still knelt on the road, knees soaked from the puddles below, the rest of them soaked from the rain above. Stiles face was tilted up ever so slighting, lips parted, eyes bright with anticipation. So different then how the older man had found him and Derek didn’t need to be told twice. Leaning forward slowly, Derek touched his own lips to those of the other boy slowly. Experimentally. Stiles lips were soft and pliant against his own wind chapped ones.  

Kissing Derek was definitely not like kissing a girl. Derek's lips were rough and demanding. He led the kiss with the type of confidence and finesse he knew he didn’t possess nor had any girl he'd kissed previously. When Derek's tongue came out to swipe at his bottom lip Stiles parted his lips hesitantly even as he embarrassingly let out a muffled moan of pleasure. 

The noises Stiles was making were driving Derek crazy. Gods, he was as exquisite as his taste! He was so responsive. When their tongues met and Stiles let out a mewl of pleasure Derek lost his patience with slow and tender. He delved in with his tongue, tasting him, drinking him in, When he kissed Derek back with a tentative lick, he groaned against the slimmer male, squeezing him tighter to himself. Derek wanted to howl in pleasure. How had this night taken such a drastic turn? He'd never imagined this, now he couldn’t imagine going without it. With each shy lap of Stiles tongue he was stoking Derek's need. 

Derek placed a kiss to Stiles neck, his tongue sizzling against his companions chilled skin. He seemed to not only be kissing him but _tasting_ him. _S_ _avou_ _ring_ him the way Stiles did a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning. Leaning up to nibble his ear Derek whispered lowly. "You've maddened me for you, you have changed everything. You will not try to harm yourself again. If you are worried, come to me. If you are in danger, I will protect you. I will protect anyone _for_ you, just swear to me you will never attempt this again." The werewolf pulled back so his gaze met Stiles for long moments before he leisurely took in every feature of his face. The way he looked at him was consuming—as if he were the most intriguing creature on the earth and he'd been starved for the sight of him. 

Adrenaline and need coursed through like Stiles had never felt before igniting something deep within, something that desperately wanted to live. Something that wanted to see where this would go. 

"I swear."


End file.
